Soundtrack to reading this entry:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HdzI-191xhU
*Open up a second tab and play this song while you read this entry*
"I find it so interesting how perceptions develop. Our minds build this image or understanding of someone without having to see them in person. I met this match and before I did this was the image I had in my head of the two of us. He was this grey and dark colored cloud. He was fun to talk to [through messaging and texting] but had such a grim outlook on so many things. Is that a front or some kind of image he wants to be perceived as? He has felt a lot of pain and has built up so many walls to try to protect himself. Deep down I can tell he wants to be a happy person. I feel like this ball of color and positivity, he must get annoyed at how often I try to talk about the bright side. Oh well, he needs to hear it." 11/18/15
So we had a plan to meet, and I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I couldn't even really get a good sense of what he looked like based on his pictures because he looked a bit different in all of them; different angles, different facial hair, and different filters. It was funny, I actually asked him if he was catfishing me because of the fact that I really couldn't tell what he looked like which was when he said he would send me a snap chat of himself. When I rejected that offer he just sent me a picture message of himself which helped prove he wasn't a catfish. I was still honestly expecting the worse case scenario when we met up. Non-the-less, I went for it. Public meeting space, coffee shop, afternoon time, all good. I got there early, got a coffee, got comfortable, wrote about about how I wanted to barf because I was so nervous, I was as ready as I would ever be. Another funny thing was I was sitting by a window and I saw someone walk by that I thought was him but he passed the door and walked around the corner, so I thought "Guess not".. then he walked back past the window and through the door and right to my table. Tall, well dressed, bright smile, green eyes. We must have talked for a solid 45 min straight before I told him he could go get a coffee or something. Not what I was expecting, which was a good thing. I was so pleasantly surprised. Eye contact was on point, super funny and interesting to talk to, very good at keeping the conversation going and asked good questions, score. The whole 2 hours we hung out I kept hearing the song (that I told you all to listen to as you read through this post) in my head because he sent me that link before we met because he saw that band in concert two days before we met in person. We parted ways because he had to be to work and left it at we would like to meet up again and would be in touch. The painting on the left was what I made after meeting him. I asked him what colors he wanted to represent him so the bottom speech bubble is him. The conversation was so well balanced that afternoon so this was how I wanted to remember it.
*Open up a second tab and play this song while you read this entry*
First impressions are something that I know do not always hold true to how someone truly is as a person. I have a few friends that when I first saw them and had my first conversation with them I didn't think I would like them, I thought they didn't like me, etc etc, but we are actually very close now despite my first impression of them, and potentially their's of me. It's really wonderful when your first impression of someone is a pleasant experience but I am fully aware that is not always the case. I'm sure I've made some terrible first impressions during my 22 years on this green Earth but it is something that seems to me to be a tricky topic. It's all about perception. Meeting someone face to face for the first time, whether it be for 20 seconds or 20 minutes, can hold the key to a lot of information about that person whether they know it or not. On the back of this painting I wrote this about the second match I met up with in person:
"I find it so interesting how perceptions develop. Our minds build this image or understanding of someone without having to see them in person. I met this match and before I did this was the image I had in my head of the two of us. He was this grey and dark colored cloud. He was fun to talk to [through messaging and texting] but had such a grim outlook on so many things. Is that a front or some kind of image he wants to be perceived as? He has felt a lot of pain and has built up so many walls to try to protect himself. Deep down I can tell he wants to be a happy person. I feel like this ball of color and positivity, he must get annoyed at how often I try to talk about the bright side. Oh well, he needs to hear it." 11/18/15
First impressions are funny things. I feel like I am a very perceptual and analytical person and can read a lot about someone based on their word usage, body language, and a myriad of other things. First impressions on Tinder are the funniest to me because you make your split second impression or decision about someone based on a virtual profile that they have created to represent them them. That decision to swipe right or left to play the game of chance at potentially matching with them is based on their first picture most of the time, sometimes you look through their other pictures, sometimes you read their bio, but a decision is made in under a minute. Even through short interactions with people I can come up with a rough gestimate of some things about them as a person (I feel like I've learned a lot about profiling from binge watching Criminal Minds this summer...not that people on Tinder are criminal minds...)
Anyway..so once you get past the first impressions within the app or within texting that person, meeting up in person is pretty much the next step if things are going well, they don't seem like a creep or murderer or catfish etc. I was messaging this guy and things were going peachy. Really witty but intriguing conversation, seemingly interesting guy, yadda yadda. He was somewhat forward with me but not in the worst way, so I took a chance, gave him my number, and we chatted from there. I told him all about this project and asked for his input on a few things and to share his story with me. Then I asked him to get coffee, which he found to be bold of me since I didn't even want to give him my snap chat name, but again, it's all about first impressions and LIVE face to face is what is important to me. I had this theory for a while and it applied to this guy. If someone is super chatty, writes well and clear responses and participates in a conversation through a text or a message, I have great suspicion that person is more introverted in person. That has been my experience with a few guys anyway. They could text me alllll about their feelings, thoughts, etc. but were painfully quiet in person and couldn't seem to hold a conversation. I told this guy about my theory. He challenged it and said that people can be outgoing and be good writers and also express themselves well in their written words, which I totally agree with.
So we had a plan to meet, and I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I couldn't even really get a good sense of what he looked like based on his pictures because he looked a bit different in all of them; different angles, different facial hair, and different filters. It was funny, I actually asked him if he was catfishing me because of the fact that I really couldn't tell what he looked like which was when he said he would send me a snap chat of himself. When I rejected that offer he just sent me a picture message of himself which helped prove he wasn't a catfish. I was still honestly expecting the worse case scenario when we met up. Non-the-less, I went for it. Public meeting space, coffee shop, afternoon time, all good. I got there early, got a coffee, got comfortable, wrote about about how I wanted to barf because I was so nervous, I was as ready as I would ever be. Another funny thing was I was sitting by a window and I saw someone walk by that I thought was him but he passed the door and walked around the corner, so I thought "Guess not".. then he walked back past the window and through the door and right to my table. Tall, well dressed, bright smile, green eyes. We must have talked for a solid 45 min straight before I told him he could go get a coffee or something. Not what I was expecting, which was a good thing. I was so pleasantly surprised. Eye contact was on point, super funny and interesting to talk to, very good at keeping the conversation going and asked good questions, score. The whole 2 hours we hung out I kept hearing the song (that I told you all to listen to as you read through this post) in my head because he sent me that link before we met because he saw that band in concert two days before we met in person. We parted ways because he had to be to work and left it at we would like to meet up again and would be in touch. The painting on the left was what I made after meeting him. I asked him what colors he wanted to represent him so the bottom speech bubble is him. The conversation was so well balanced that afternoon so this was how I wanted to remember it. 
I've had some pretty funny first impressions of people at this point. Some of my favorites are the following:
-One guy's first picture is him in a bathtub full of bagels
-Video chatted a guy and the first image that came up was him shirtless with vape smoke pouring in and out of the camera frame. I could have sworn the room was on fire that he was in.
-The first message from some guys are just ridiculously crass and those usually make it onto the Tinder Nightmares Instagram page *viewer discretion is advised*
The thing about perceptions and impressions in this day and age is that they exist in two different worlds. They exist in reality, in the face to face physical interactions, but they also exist in the technological world of texting, messaging, emailing, and come with novels of unwritten rules and interpretations. This is where the game, the chase, the modern romantic experience seems to exist now but also where ones that existed in the physical realm first often find trouble. I'll get into this more next time.
